Unforgettable trip to Omega for a vocal awareness workshop

I still can’t thank God enough for giving me the best gift yet, one I have been waiting patiently for. I will remember his particular life experience for as long as I’m alive, since it occupies a very special place in my heart.

I am home now, sitting in the living room, looking at the scenery outside, and having slow, silent loving breath. I am enjoying every breath. I am relishing this moment since it allows me to taste the sweetness of the memory that still shines bright within.

Before embarking on my trip, I had familiarized myself with the concepts taught by Arthur Joseph in the vocal awareness workshop at the Omega Institute. Despite my preliminary studies of Arthur’s work, the real experience was way beyond my expectations. Reading his book, listening to his CD or watching his DVD are all exercises that pale in comparison to sitting by his side at this workshop, experiencing his nourishing, calm, safe, sweet and powerful energy firsthand.

On the first day, class started with one important question from Arthur: “Why are we here?” I found my courage and shared tearfully that I want to heal my internal wound that I feel prevents me from being myself during conversation with others. Earlier in my life I was scarred by abusive judgments made by my ex-husband regarding my ability to speak English. He told me with great displeasure that his employees in China were doing much better at speaking English than I. I thought to myself, “my hard work isn’t worth anything really!” Throughout my life, I have my best daily effort at working to be a better person, but in the eyes of the person whom I trusted and loved the most, I was a failure.

That past judgment opened a very painful wound that has not since healed. Consequently, I have extremely low confidence when I am having a conversation with other human beings. While speaking, I become overly concerned about constructing the perfect sentence that will convey my thoughts clearly. I constantly think about verb tense, how to move my tongue properly, and how to put subject, object and verb together correctly. Since so much of my energy goes into that intense anxiety, the words never come out the way I want them to. The problem gets worse when somebody asks me to repeat what I just said. I know immediately that my English was not clear or correct; this quickly triggers my pain response and results in a debilitating mental retreat. I know that I don’t want to continue living everyday like this, I have to do something. I want to be myself, I want to be free, and finally the day has come.

After the first class, Arthur had a one-on-one conversation with me. He wanted to be sure that I felt safe with him, and indeed I did. His energy was so comfortable, welcoming and powerful; I could not help but feel the safety of home. Later I learned it was not just I who felt that way, but that everyone else in the class felt the same. Every one of us was touched by his unbelievably beautiful and wholesome energy. I was amazed to observe my classmates as they opened themselves up to Arthur one by one. Everyone of us shed our fears and worries. We were free to be our natural selves, which made this class as a heaven on earth.

Arthur has an amazing gift. He feels the emotional distress that comes from the voice that we create, and it does not depend on the words that we say. From what I observed at the workshop, Arthur works directly with the subconscious mind. First he helped us to let go of the negativity that we hold on to. Then he helped us to reclaim that wasted energy and enjoy the power of being ourselves. On top of that, Arthur has an enormous store of his own balanced energy which he can use to dislodge barriers to efficient being in others.

His enlightening lessons about how the voice can be used to guide our mind, body and spirit to work together are amazing. We all became speechless when we realized the implications of his teachings; it took many conscious breaths before we could put all the pieces together. Even now, it baffles my mind to realize that what I first believed to be comical exercises (pull out our tongue, put two figures underneath our tongue, make humorous voices) are actually very powerful tools to release our emotions and focus our energy outward. The more we make noise, the simpler it seems to connect to our inner self. And when that happens, it is glorious.

I felt free, happy, and joyous during every moment spent with Arthur and the others in the class. We all blossomed in that class, transforming our tensions and fears into strong but tender and sweet energy which was felt and shared by all. When I took the experience in with my sweet silent loving breath, I could not resist letting the happy tears flow. Soon thereafter, I had a sweet smile fixed on my face.

It wasn’t easy for any of us when it came time to say goodbye. I had to take many silent loving breathes and consciously remind myself to surrender to the reality that it could not last forever. I allowed myself a long, drawn out moment in order to capture the full significance of this beautiful memory and to save it deep within. Now, whenever I need it again, all I have to do is practice my slow, silent loving breath and let it envelop my entire body.

Thanks to Arthur….and I miss you, my beautiful classmates…